It gives me great pleasure to speak to you all this fine evening and try to explain my way around the complex maze that is What's Been Going On.

Our story begins back in September last year, right at the end of that week we went on about so much last time at St. Marks, doing Birdworld, when we all went off for a meeting with our kindly overseers Brian and Geri.

You may recall that when we last spoke, no deal had been forthcoming for Fear of flying after the MTV business. Well, the long hours B'n'G had endured talking to dull and uncooperative A&R types from various labels finally helped push them over the edge and embark on a new and exciting project which had been building up in them for a while.

This project was what we have since come to know as ARC. What's that, Alan? Well, ARC is a new and oh so different label whose full title is ARTIST RECORD COMPANY. You see, they reckoned that they had a cluster of super acts with whom they were in love, including RUTH, and these all deserved a record company which was on their side, and which would take great care to release only records of the highest quality, and would therefore try their absolute mightiest to sell them to EVERYBODY.

Well, it sounded pretty good to us, but then they explained that it was just a plan at the moment and that really what they needed was LOTS AND LOTS of MONEY.

We all had a look, but we only had about £15 on us, so we concluded that we'd have to wait till someone with LOTS AND LOTS of MONEY thought "That sounds like a good idea" and then we'd be off. "We'll be off by the New Year," they said, and we went home happy.

It's June now, and after months of possibilities and setbacks, a slimmed-down ARC is creeping towards it's first release, which just goes to show what it's like doing stuff in the music industry.

But the point of all this exposition to explain how come RUTH are soon to be actually releasing stuff, but how come we can't exactly begin this edition with a large banner headline saying "WE'RE SIGNED!!!!". But what a joy it is to be there from the outset with a fledgling label which will one day blossom into a dull and uncooperative one which sells LOTS of records.

But what does this all mean to you, faithful Children of ALAN??? Well, the most important thing is that ALAN is now practically a public service by dint of the fact that ARC are now paying for it. And that means, my dears, that you are now lifelong members of ALAN, and not one more sum payable to Gravel Monsters will pass between us to remain in the family.

But I'd like to take this opportunity to say to you original, paying members of ALAN; Phil, Carolyn, Rate, Ruth, Ruth, Matthew, Rachel, Glare, Alex, Simone, Tanya, Kylie, Jane, Faye, Simon, Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo and Jo, and of course Mother Agnus and the Sisters, THANKYOU for your support in our early and difficult years. AND this shall be the final ALAN of this era, and you, the loyal will be the only ones EVER to have the FIRST THREE ALANs, PLUS this edition's episode of The Extraordinaries will complete the epic tale, and the next era of ALAN will have a whole new serial. And who knows what that'll be like...