Dear ALAN subscribers... mmm... dear RUTH people?... Oh dear, I do seam to be making this sound very formal... (Oh well perhaps we can change it later, Sister Priscilla). Dear Readers, how are you all? I hope the answer to that was 'very well thankyou', but it it wasn't then I hope all will be well soon...(Yes Sister Priscilla, write down everything I say. Yes, even this) mmm ... yes ... As I sit at my desk on this crisp and clear February morn, the thrushes chattering in the garden and Sister Zenobia making loud grunting noises as she tries to pull what remains of last year's Monk's Rhubarb, I am filled (and I hope you'll forgive me) with a feeling that can only be described as pride. Because, dear readers, young (Axeman) Benjamin has very kindly asked me to do an article for the forthcoming [fifthcoming by this time, I imagine! Sister Priscilla] edition of ALAN, to tell you all about what it is to he a RUTH fan and a member of The Sister's of the Antagonistic Beech. Well..."absolutely splendid" seems to fit the bill, but I'm sure you're expecting a much-fuller answer than that. Still...I'm almost wondering if there's anything I can say that could be of possible interest to all you radical, pucker, tragically hip and bodacious RUTH fans. [Note Mother Agnus's rather weak attempt to try and at least sound the smallest bit up to date with what I imagine are already enormously antiquated expressions. My apologies reader. Sister Priscilla] My! Here I am wittering on... Now, what was I going to say? Yes, that's right... Let me see... it was two summers ago, that Sister Otterly, while visiting an outdoor music festival (Sister Priscilla, is there such a thing as an Indoor Music Festival?), stumbled upon a band of such gargantuan, and progressive talent that they made Led Zeppelin look like The Osmonds! Of course, I'm talking about RUTH. And my, since then... well, goodness only knows how different our lives would be without those young impetuous scallywags, those cheeky youths with their ears at the root of the nations pulse.

Yes! life would seam a lot duller without Sister Maud forgetting herself, and reciting 'I told you so, I told you so' while doing her days quota of Hail Mary's... And how many times during evensong have we not witnessed Sister Otterly swaying at odds to the organist's efforts, her personal stereo and Birdworld LP cleverly hidden beneath her wimple? Hmmn...Things would be duller still without Sister Judith, who has added some valuable riffs to her 'Lute and Lyre' seminars, Sister Esme and Sister Millicent, who constantly debate the relevance of the Zen principles subliminally suggested in Ruthsongs... and I mustn't forget Sister Denise, who is forever expounding upon the therapeutic qualities of the various ALAN recipes on flatulent bovines. What more needs to be said? RUTH are not solely a band, but are a catalyst changing for good all that they come into contact with. Not merely songwriters, but the music of the heavens personified. Not just musicians but the living embodiment of all musicians everywhere. Not just... (My! I am going on rather, aren't I Sister Priscilla... [sigh] I feel quite breathless...quite exhausted... Sister Priscilla, do you think that will be enough?... Good, good.) Well, dear readers, I shall have to bring this epistle to a close... l hope the words of an old nun have not been too tiring for you. Keep listening and Bless You All.

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