Well, if it's not a "WELCOME", it is at the very least a "Hullo" to the world's first ALAN Number 4.

Who'd have thought way back in August 1993 when the very first ALAN came scampering out to play that now, nearly twenty three months later we'd still be here, tirelessly striving to promote the cheesy goodness of RUTH? I didn't.

But it is a rare treat to be back, especially for this most spectacular of editions, the one where we can finally say "WELCOME" to all the new brothers and sisters who have suddenly joined the flock.

All you ALAN veterans may have got those highly acclaimed issues 1-3 and may also be feeling pretty smug as a result. But let me tell you, you're not all that much better off for you have never received the SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY ISSUE we painstakingly produced to give the appearance that we were slick and sharp.

I hope that after that, this doesn't leave you bruised and upset, but I feel strongly within my bones that this is a superlative issue. We've got Part 2 of the RUTH Story ("The most incredible story ever told"-Times), an in-depth interview with the one and only MATT HALES (from RUTH) and a couple of new regular features - Sheridan's Kitchen (with an expert chef very close to all our hearts here at RUTH Central) and of course Letter from Mother Agnus - latest news from the Sisters of the Antagonistic Beech (the world's first RUTH-devoted Nunnery), PLUS the latest on ALAN's favourite colour - AND a brand new story, all coming up on the following pages!!!!

I'm slavering already - while I'm off getting a handkerchief to mop myself up, lie down and enjoy ALAN 4....