The wind is cold. The valley is deep. The wait is long. The wind is not apparently the result of conflicting atmospheric pressures; it seems far more sensible to imagine it as the breath of the gods. In fact why even imagine it as such when you can simply know it to be true? In fact why pretend it is anything else? The gods must have to breathe out like everyone else. Let the gods breathing in explain the tides.

The valley is deep, which is a shame. It could be a shallower valley, there are plenty to choose from. Even if it were a shallower valley it could be a valley yet more shallow. Until there were no valley at all, just a bit of a dip. That would be excellent.

I wonder if I'm going to die?

It must be so easy to die. More people die than pass their driving tests. Some people probably die taking their driving tests. You probably just reach a point where you can weigh up the options objectively and choose. I mean if you're really old and you can't remember anything properly and you can't even lift your own weight, you might well choose dying as an improvement. A change is as good as a rest. And say you've been hit really hard by a car and your body is all broken up. People are forever miraculously surviving extraordinary injury and going on to have happy lives. They're always hopping miles and miles carrying their cut-up legs in their hands quite happily. And they usually crack jokes to the ambulance men. I imagine there's just that moment where you ask yourself shall I bother? I mean it must hurt much more to be alive in these circumstances. And how much different can the rest of your life possibly be from the way it has already been? You might well choose to not do all that stuff you've discovered is not worth doing. People are regularly doing that too. They go "and since my accident I have resolved to live every minute to the full". Do they not sleep then? Or do they sleep each minute really well? I wonder if there are default settings so if you're really occupied when the knife goes in, the decision is made according to the maker's original specifications. I wonder which way that goes? Even all the dead people were alive. But how many people never bothered to be alive at all?

Maybe you click on a check-box at some point, so that you're not even given the choice; the route is pre-programmed. I daresay it's something to do with filling in a Donor Card. Or being baptised. Or choosing never to go to McDonalds because you don't believe in cruelty to animals and the undeclared funding of the IRA wing of the Ku Klux Klan.

I wonder if you can choose at any point, like if you're really really bored you can ask yourself. Like if you have to wait an hour and a half for the bus, or if it's Findus Crispy Pancakes for tea. Or Madras Shambar vegetable curry. Or if you don't like the person you sit next to in maths, or the inspector catches you without a ticket. That would be really funny. How about when it would be really funny? I suppose it wouldn't be that funny over and over again - but then you could just go yourself when it had stopped being funny, or when all your friends had gone.

If it's literary to die of a broken heart and practical to die of falling into a combine harvester, how would you describe dying for comic effect?

I am bored now. And cold due to the wind ( Note: Think of a reason why the god's breath should be cold). But I don't seem to be dying. Perhaps they're really angry with you if you just die because you feel like it. Maybe you have an extra big conscience once you're dead which will only leave you alone if you had a really good reason. Imagine dying and then feeling guilty because that meant you missed an appointment or something.

I like baths and I like chocolate and I like laughing.
I like tea and I like music and I like fires.
I like writing and I like sex and I like letters.
I like tidiness, I like children.
I don't like fish.

I like it when the rescue team come and save you. That's excellent.