It's not often that I sit at this computer and write something for an issue of ALAN. But here I am, having been killed on level 22 of Apieron. I was never really into computer games as a small boy, but now all I seem to do is while away the time between mammoth TV appearances by ruining my already deteriorating eyes, whilst trying to kill a bloody caterpillar.

When I first started to get into music and performing when I was about nine years old, I would sit in front of the TV and watch Top of the Pops or The Old Grey Whistle Test dreaming that I too would one day appear in front of millions, with a guitar around my neck, performing my latest single. I remember my heroine, Kate Bush, doing Babushka and being dead impressed. Of course I did all that classic stuff holding a hairbrush in my hand and pretending to sing into it in front of the mirror.

Me and my brothers used to record ourselves being The Beatles miming to their songs. I still have a cassette somewhere. [You recorded yourself miming onto a cassette? Why? - Ed]

The first time I was actually on TV with a band was in the summer of 1988. We travelled down to London and were put up in the Hilton Hotel for two nights, paid for by the BBC. I was only 18 and it was the most exciting time of my life. The highlight of that time was appearing live on Wogan. I was surprisingly not too nervous.

This time round it's been exciting in a different way. I am older and I feel much more confident that RUTH can be fantastic in everything they do. I can't speak for the others, but none of us are as young as 18 and I think we're all a little more knowledgeable than I was back then. I sound like a bloody grandad.

The fact that we had a video for 'I don't know' helped a lot. Our first TV appearances as RUTH were our video, so we didn't have to do anything ourselves (of course I'm not counting the fantastic cameo role that we all played in 'The Bill' last year). But 'The Chart Show, 'Live and Kicking' and 'Blast ' on the Children's Channel were essentially just our video. Nevertheless, the few hours of waiting before the programmes were broadcast was pretty weird. A mixture of excitement and nerves.

However, we have now done four TV things in which we have been interviewed and have performed. The first was that top music show, 'Good Morning with Anne and Nick'. Our first TV interview - it went well even though we kept talking over the top of each other, and it was quite obvious that we were a little scared. Matt V-B came over best of us all, looking cool and cute, although I'm sure he won't thank me for saying it. Oh, he has - that's OK Matt, no problem, thanks for taking an interest.

Things went from quite good to very good on Live TV which is, unfortunately a little known cable channel that no one watches. We were on an afternoon show called 'Buzzin'. Because we knew there was no audience, we were really relaxed and it came across. We had to mime to the backing track of the single and then be interviewed.... all live.

Have you ever met Terry Christian? We have, and you know he's not at all bad. Our first celebrity meeting. We were on Sky One, on 'The Hit Mix'. Unfortunately the interview was very short and was over before we had a chance to say anything of any substance. It was a bit crap. Plus we did actually have stuff worked out that we wanted to say and totally forgot about it when the time came. People said it was fine though.

The latest thing has been our 'O-Zone' appearance. At half ten in the morning the film crew arrived at the boys house. Normally we would all still be fast asleep and not due to get up for at least another 5 hours. The film crew were swiftly followed by members of the RUTH empire, from the record company, our video director, Ed, and business manager (i.e. Matt and Ben's dad).This time we were less nervous and really enjoyed the interview. I think it came across as the best thing we've done so far.

The excellent thing is that there is a really obvious maturing process going on for all to see. We are becoming more confident and less crap all the time. By the time we appear on 'The White Room" we will have promoted two singles and will be preparing for the third - we shoot the video in the next few weeks.

It's getting better all the time..... better, better, better.

Sorry.