The morning

Got up got out of bed dragged a comb across my head… thought to myself "this evening we'll be on the National Lottery Live singing our song which is being played on the radio and everything". Had a bath. Strange to wash your hair and then really worry about how it looks and how to style it because later on ten million people are going to see it and will laugh if it looks stupid and if ten million people all laugh out loud at the same time at my hair I shall feel sad. Went round Ben's and got the stuff and went to the record company to get Brian and Geri. On the way turned on the radio and Jo Whiley suddenly played the single so l like her now.

The afternoon

Picked up B & G and also MVB stopped at a petrol station and Brian bought us some chocolate and I felt like a real star. Drove to Shepherd's Bush and turned up at the bizarrely familiar Television Centre where BBC lives. Met up with little Stephen and went into Studio 4 and there was the Lottery including the lovely Carols. Crazy.

Nervous because I had to sing live and was feeling a bit rough and tight in the throat. Tried a bit of secret singing. Sounded terrible. Shit. Did a couple of run-throughs singing like a crow. Very embarrassing. Began to imagine I could hear people whispering things like "but we understood he could sing" and "I knew he wouldn't be up to it" and "doesn't his hair look stupid". Tried not to cry. Rest of band all said encouraging things like "don't worry I'm sure you be fine once you warm up" and "don't fret - this is only the most biggest event of our career and it all hinges on your vocal performance and we will hate you forever if you ruin it". Brian says over and over again that he would feel less nervous if we did a straight mime. I said I would feel a lot less nervous too. Arranged to mime it. Felt very humiliated like someone just announced to the assembled crew and celebs that I had unfortunately wet my pants and would have to do PE in someone else's shorts with a mushroom growing on them from having been in Lost Property for ten years. Did a few more goes without actually singing and felt a lot happier.

The evening

Got changed into the suits and transformed from just four ordinary guys into four ordinary guys dressed up as super-cool fellas. Went down for the dress rehearsal. The floor manager handed me the mic and whispered "this fonza tie buckle". "Yeah OK," I said, assuming she was insane but as I got onto the stage I realised she had said "this one's a live vocal" which meant I had to sing. Oh god. Then the music started and, as is the way, I did a note-perfect performance. And of course then we all wanted me to sing live apart from Brian who said that he would feel less nervous if we did a straight mime. So I said all right and than changed my mind and we went on and then did it live after all and it was OK. And Carol Vorderman put her hand on my shoulder at the end and said we had a great sound just like Bad Company who were her favourite when she was a teenager.

So that was that; we did it and everyone said we were good and we went to green room for some celebratory sandwiches and wine and Geri got a bit pissed up and we saw the video and it looked cool and Producer Peter invited us back for us to do it again sometime and I lost my glasses.

Thank you for your attention.

Good afternoon.