Yes that's correct; it's time for our regular dip into the mailbag. The first rummage reveals a pertinent point regarding this very page from the loquacious Ed from London:

Grammatical error: It's actually Readers' Wives, assuming that you have more than one reader.

Oh yes.

That's better. Of course the next letter is:

ALAN is obviously the work of several genius's says Lydia from Merseyside [perhaps it should be geniu's'ss'?] so small errors in punctuation obviously don't bother everyone, EdfromLondon. In fact ALAN is generally the work of one genius but he's too humble to point that out. (Even though, as Matt from Cheltenham complains : I now can't read any magazines without thinking 'this isn't as good as ALAN!' )

There is speculation about the origins of the name ALAN; Ed "one-letter-a- week" from London and Ed's sister have concluded it has a deeper meaning:

My favourite (and the most accurate) is:

which has a certain zen-like beauty. Oh, Ed, thanks for your little clipping:

READERS' MOTHERS FATHERS AND SISTERS

There seems to be a trend developing relating fathers to RUTH. Last time there was Robert from Liverpool's Dad going on about us and we got a letter from Lisa in Nottingham to say

I only heard of you because you were on my Shine 6 tape which my Dad bought me [her italics]

Hey, maybe Dads are more switched on then we would suspect. Perhaps this is what the expression 'Dadrock' means?

Of course, the National Lottery is a family show, so we were pleased to hear of those households who gathered together round the RUTHy TV, such as the Kate Milton Keynes's

My mother now loves you and says you're 'nice boys' although she comments that Matt isn't old enough to be in a group

My girlfriend thought Matt (singer one) looked nice on the Lottery. So did my sister. And my Mum says Adam from Leicester. You may remember Adam f rom ALAN7 claming Number1 fan status. Clearly feeling all-powerful, he asks us to send out this declaration:

Anyone wanting the position of No 1 fan can either a) give me money exceeding £50 or b) come round and fight me - Adam

Anyone going to take him on? Or does ALAN really stand for Adam Leicester As Number-one?

Actually, a pretty strong challenge from Orpington's famous David. He actually sent us 200g of Dairy Milk - by far the largest chocolate offering we have yet received. (Are you paying attention, Adam?). Not only that, but he provided the Lottery stills you saw earlier.

So let that shine as an example of devotion to all you would-be No 1 fans. Thanks David, we enjoyed the chocolate despite someone having sat on it in the post and them at the record company going "No don't eat it! It might be poisoned!"

If you go on telly and stuff, you just have to do your thing and accept the way people who see you react. Sometimes this is hard.

The singer looks like Arthur Dent - Sarah, Helston

This issue's picture of pants comes from Lisa of Nottingham. Thankyou for keeping the tradition alive.

WHERE IS YOUR ALBUM?

This is a regular question in your letters. Well, it isn't out yet and you haven't missed it (as if we'd sneakily release an album without telling you). As of writing, the plan is to finally release it with the next single after Fear of flying. That single is definitely going to be a new release that you have never heard. It may, in fact be an unexpected newcomer to the album - we'll tell you all about it in the forthcoming ALAN 9. Both new single and Harrison will emerge in about September, so start saving.

It's been nice to meet some of you as we've travelled the country in recent months (we're sorry we haven't done a really extensive yet. We will one day, I swear it). However, by the time we reach you, you might not be in the best condition, as this letter from Stacey and Katherine who saw us in a dodgy pub in Paignton bears out:

Thankyou for serenading us it was really touching or would have been if we weren't needing the tables and pillars for support quite as much.

REQUESTS

Here's a request from Rebecca from Rochester:

OK, no problem.